Crouching Tiger

He fell in love for the first time while 
having his fourth relationship 
His first relationship was platonic 
He was still in secondary school at 
the time and the relationship never 
went beyond the letter writing stage 
The girl's name and love remained 
indelibly etched in his heart
and he believed at the time that he 
could never love another the way he 
loved her 
After their secondary school, he had 
hoped for a letter from her indicating 
the University she intended to apply to 
so that he can apply to the same school 
He bought his JAMB form and wrote her a
letter She was living in Ojuelegba, Lagos 
He was living in Sango, Ibadan 
They became friends while in the 
boarding school 
Their letters usually took two weeks to 
arrive 
He wrote to her several times 
She didn't reply to any of his messages 
One Saturday morning, he left a letter
for his mother and traveled to Lagos 
He was sixteen years old 
He needed to see the love of his life 
In the letter, he told his mother he 
was going to see a friend at Iyana Ipaja 
He told his mother not to worry 
He would return home within a week 
He didn't think twice about his
moves He had only enough money to 
get him to Lagos from Ibadan 
He didn't consider how he would get 
to Iyana Ipaja from the motor park 
He didn't tell his friend that was living 
at Iyana Ipaja that he was coming 
(They met in the boarding school too) 
or even consider the fact that he might 
not meet that friend at home 
He believed himself to be in love 
Love was supposed to conquer all things 
The bus dropped him at Berger Bus Stop 
at about 11 AM 
He asked for directions to Iyana Ipaja, 
Lagos City Polythecnic 
His friend had told him his house was 
close to the the school 
Someone asked him if he knew the way 
He explained that he just came to 
Lagos from Ibadan and didn't have 
any money on him to get to his 
destination 
The person took him to the motor park, 
explained in details to the driver where 
he was going and paid his fare That was
how he got to his destination 
He met his friend at home 
His friend was living with his uncle's family 
They were not expecting visitors at all 
His friend had to lie to his Uncle and Aunt 
that he came from Ibadan because his 
parents were involved in an accident 
at Costain and he didn't know his way 
He slept in his friend's house until the 
next morning 
His friend's Uncle gave him some money 
the next morning and wrote the description 
to Yaba on a piece of paper for him 
He set out for Alakuko 
He had to see the love of his life 
He boarded a Molue bus for the
first time, got to Alakuko and started 
tracing his babe's house 
Her address was always boldly 
written on her letters 
He located the house at about 1pm 
He was told by her grandmother that 
she had moved to Abeokuta to live 
with her elder sister's family 
Wow! 
At least he knew why
she didn't respond to his letters 
With a sinking heart as the butterflies 
in his belly started dying, he found 
his way back to Ibadan 
He walked until the sole of his shoe 
broke into two from Alakuko to Berger 
He used the last eighty Naira on him 
to get a bus to Iwo road, Ibadan
he walked from Iwo road to Sango 
He got home half-dead from hunger 
and exhaustion 
His mother couldn't even scream at him 
or bite him as she had planned 
One look at him as he walked into 
their compound at 10:30pm at night 
with tears streaming down his face 
He cried for his lost love
He moved on after a year of waiting 
The second girl he dated was in love 
with someone else 
The person had dumped her and 
she needed a buffer relationship 
He became her distraction 
He knew she was using him but he 
didn't care 
They were friends and he was also 
nursing a heartbreak
The third girl was not his type 
They dated and talked but there was 
something about her that didn't 
resonate with him 
The relationship lasted six months 
Then he met her, THE ONE
The girl he stole the sun for 
They met one evening 
He was returning home from school 
for the Christmas break 
He heard some voices behind him 
The voices were feminine and 
talking excitedly 
They walked right past him with 
buckets on their head and their 
mouths giggling and laughing 
Four pretty girls fetching water 
He slowed down his pace and 
watched them glide into an 
uncompleted building in his estate 
The house had been unoccupied as 
at when he went off to school 
When he got home he asked questions 
He was told they moved in a few 
weeks earlier and their well was 
still being built 
He saw them again the following day 
They were fetching water from a church
very close to his parent's house 
He waited a week before following them 
to the well 
He said Hello 
Their oldest sister melted his heart right 
away 
She was like mother goose and her 
sisters like three geese 
She was warm and welcoming 
She was eighteen She was awaiting her 
JAMB result
That was the love he had been waiting for 
Their father was working out of state and 
comes home once a month 
Their mother was a secretary with the civil 
service 
The sisters were all still in secondary school 
She was home and "free" every day from 
8 AM to 3 PM 
Her mother had taught her how to sew 
There was a sewing machine at home and 
clothes to sew 
She was quite good at sewing 
He went visiting every day 
Sometimes to watch her sew 
Sometimes to talk 
Sometimes to watch a movie together 
He couldn't tell exactly when he fell in 
love with her but it was long before that 
morning when as he watched her sewing, 
he said "What is on your mind?" 
She looked at him, smiled, stood up from 
the sewing machine, locked the front door 
of their house and took off her blouse 
He was twenty-one years old and he had 
never experienced such a defining moment 
before 
She said "From that moment i saw you 
walking home, I made up my mind to be 
with you. You may not know that day but 
i was fetching water with my sisters and 
you were walking ahead of us on the street. 
I just knew you will be the one" 
She didn't need to say anymore
He had tears in his eyes already 
All his life he had waited for a boom moment, 
for a love that is enduring and real 
He had found it at last 
He knew this even as they kissed and opened 
wide the gates of Gaza and Ashkelon 
She became his sleeping and waking thoughts 
He was in love
They were together for twelve to fifteen 
hours of the day sometimes 
She was all that mattered to him 
The love he had for her was all-consuming, 
like a fire 
When school resumed, he made arrangements
 for her to come his school everyday so that 
they can spend some time together
His school was about fifteen minutes away 
from their neighborhood 
She passed JAMB and went off to University 
of Ado-Ekiti He was with her every fortnight 
He was so "In love" that he didn't want to 
see her happy doing anything else or being 
with anyone else apart from him 
His love for her was hot and blinding
It was as if his head was set on fire 
about her 
He would grow tense and nervous 
when he was not with her 
He was always scared of losing her 
He was always in knots like a live wire 
Always on the edge 
Like Mad Max 
One day he saw her talking to a guy 
and lost it 
He stabbed the guy
The guy turned out to be her step brother
from her father's first marriage
He saw the intimate way the guy's hand
was draped across her shoulder and
lost it
He was seated with some friends, under
a tree by the bus stop of their neighborhood
He just lost it!
The brother's shoulder blade was almost
broken by the impact of the knife
it was a serious wound which dragged
the two families into a "they are sleeping
together" moment
His family paid for the treatment
She told him it was over
Her parents warned her that he would
kill her one day if she doesn't walk away
He almost went mad with rage
He didn't know what he was thinking
He pinned and cried and prayed
Eventually she returned to school
and he was able to isolate her from her
folks
He went on his knees and begged her
for several days
He promised he did it for love but he had
learned his lesson
She forgave him and accepted him back
The next day, while she was making
a photocopy at a business centre
A male classmate of hers came into the
business centre and covered her eyes
playfully
It was a harmless gesture but he found 
himself reeling at the sight
He would have killed the guy if he could
get away with it
He was lost in a maze of mucus
He was choking her and killing the love
they shared by his lack of control
Later that day he started berating
her for deliberately enticing men
with her provocative dressing and
"come and do me" attitude
He wanted her to cut her hair and
change her wardrobe to sack clothes
She said no!
You're not my husband and even if
you are I will never do that for any 
man!
He realized he had pushed too far and
pretended he was joking
He wanted her to see he loved her
and was only trying to ensure that
they remain together and in love
But she didn't see it his way
She regretted taking him back
She just wanted to be free of him
She told him so and demanded that
he correct his course or she would
walk away
He promised to adjust and started
hiding his true feelings while resenting her
for not seeing things the way she did
Men are predators, he was just trying to
protect her from the big bad wolves
Always assuming she was weak
Always thinking he needed to protect her
Always thinking someone would snatch 
her from him
He was obsessed with her
He was manipulative and controlling
Making up lies to keep her friends and 
family members away from her
He was scared of losing her and willing 
to do anything to keep her
One day she had had enough
She called it quits
He didn't understand why she broke
up with him
He told her all he had ever done was
to faithfully love her
She told him he was a curse she had
to get rid of
He built a cage and wanted to keep
her in it all in the name of love
He begged her for a long time
She refused to reconsider
She said "You will understand when
you meet and love someone like yourself
how unhealthy your kind of love is"
He laughed it off and called her names
He didn't know why she refused
to see that his love for her was
what made him do all things he
did
He didn't understand it until he met
his kind when he was twenty-eight
A beautiful, peaceful and caring
woman on the exterior
A crouching tiger with a fiery
dragon spirit within
He thought he was the jealous type
The lady was the definition of jealousy
She was so insecure that she kept her 
own sisters from meeting him
At first he thought it was funny because
the stunts she was pulling were the
same type of stunts he could pull
but when she accused him of sleeping
with their her best friend simply
because he went to her apartment to
check on her and found her friend
in a pool of blood, he realized she
was deluded
Was he supposed to leave the poor
lady to die?
He took the lady to the hospital and
called her immediately to inform her
of the development
She later claimed he came to the
apartment to help her friend take
care of an inexistent abortion
She moved out of the apartment 
because of it and severed ties with 
her best friend
It was the most ridiculous thing
He started withdrawing from her
She had seen his elder sister's
slippers in his house and pulled
a knife on him until he called his
sister vis speakerphone to confirm
the slippers was hers
At that time he thought she was
just being a desperately loving
person
He didn't know loving her meant
living like a hermit
Two years after meeting her, he ran
for his dear life

Years later, they were having a
singles and married programme in
church 
A young lady sent in the  following:

I am a good person to be honest, 
and sincerely care about others 
and the things of God, but when 
in a relationship or like someone 
in a special way, if I smell or 
imagine foul play or feel my 
position is being threatened or 
I am wronged in any way, the 
switch flips to the other end, 
its like my head is on literal fire, 
I become restless, I can't eat 
or sleep well until I have done 
something wrong, I devise all 
sorts, the only thing I didn't 
do is juju and thats because i 
didn't know anyone that can help
me get it done
I have slept with someone before 
all in the name of getting access 
to my boyfriends email and I am 
not even a cheating type of person 
but I braced my heart, just to get 
cheating proof and there was nothing. 
My human spirit now had "cheating" 
antenna
I act so bad that the other person's 
assumed wrong becomes irrelevant 
in the argument. 
Even when I pray or wait some days 
before I reply or take action, its not 
any good
Everything becomes blurry I can't tell 
what is a right/wrong response until I 
get to the point of no return, then my 
eyes are open. 
It was something I grew into while in 
a relationship with an unfaithful person.
All I want now is to get rid of it, I want 
to succeed in my marriage, I would 
rather be single than not be a blessing. 
I have prayed, I still pray, I have 
confessed goodness too but the only 
time it doesn't happen is when there is 
no man in my life
I love ooh, I love without reserve but 
this hot head and assumption thing 
makes it all not worth it.
I do need help, I don't know how to fix it.

His response: Use your mouth to correct
the course of your life
When you pray in tongues, lay your hand
on your heart and speak to it
You will not love in a carnal way
You will not love in an accursed manner
You will not put your trust in any man
Your sufficiency is of God
You will think the right thought and
dwell in safety always
You will not be a house without
walls, the Holy Spirit is the fire all
about you and the walls of your
city
You will not be an emotional disaster
You have the mind of Christ
You are safe and secured in the
love of Christ"
When you truly love the Lord
every other form love you have
will be a reflection of His love.

PS: Don't put anyone in bondage
in the name of love
Man has always treasured his freedom
above all else including love
Always remember this
Man will rather be free than live in hell
in the name of love
Deal with your insecurity issues today
by the power of the Holy Spirit

GSW's note: If you are married and
you find yourself in this kind of relationship
If you are the jealous one, you have
to unlearn it and deal with it with a
fierce determination
If you are the victim, keep as much
distance as possible from this 
strange fire
Respect the necessary boundaries
and pray but if it was an obsessive
thing, make an open show of it
Don't nurse it!
Expose it so that it doesn't fester
into a knife plunging into your
throat in the middle of the night!
Jealousy wasn't called the green
demon as a joke
It has destroyed many destinies...