Misled

A lady and her boyfriend travelled together to her village to meet her parents
A sort of informal introduction
The young man prepared properly for the event
Withdrew a lot of his savings and made sure the event was a glorious success
His contribution to that event was huge financially
Everybody at the event knew him by his name by the time the party was over
After the event, the lady's family members called her aside and started asking her who the young man who came with her was
Is he the one?
When is your introduction?
He is really cute...
We would like to meet with him....
The lady told them they were just friends and she was not sure he was the one she wanted to get married to

Her parents became worried
Why bring him home and stay in the same hotel with him when you do not have any plan to marry him
What is the issue
You are in your thirties, and he is accomplished and obviously likes you
What is the problem?
The lady refused to give her family members more information
Her mother however, found a way to get the young man's phone number
She sent him a message that she would like to see him later that day
They met at a neutral place

The lady's mother asked him what his plans were for his daughter
He told the lady's mother that he loves the daughter and wanted to marry her, but the daughter was the one who insisted that they just remain good friends and lovers without any form of formal ties
The mother was heartbroken to hear this
Her daughter was more comfortable sleeping with a man for free and in the open than marrying the same man
If she were doing it in the city where nobody knows the family, it could still be excused
Her daughter actually brought the young man to their village, booked a hotel room in the only good hotel in town, and was sharing the room with the guy brazenly.

The mother called for the daughter after the meeting
The mother told her that she was embarrassing the family and ruining the good name of the family by her conduct.
The mother said her man said he was willing to get married to her, but she was the one delaying the process
The mother demanded to know why

The lady said, "He is a good man. He has a job and he has some good businesses that bring him money. He is also stable and caring.
But whenever we have a disagreement, he cries like a baby, with mucus and heaving and sighing and bawling.
I always end up comforting him, and as a result, we don't end up getting to have a proper conversation to resolve issues.
I am afraid to tell him how I feel most times because he would start crying and accusing me that i do not appreciate everything he is doing for me.

When I cry, he cries
When he cries, I comfort him
I think he is very damaged somehow, and I cannot cope with it
He is a weak man.
He ticks all the boxes, and I would love to marry him, but that crying thing is a turn-off
I just can't accommodate it, and I cannot cope with it.
Whenever he was like that, I just zone out, and for many days after that, I find myself irritated with him.

Her mother understood her explanation somehow and told her to break up with the man when they got back to the city so that she could find herself a real man with whom she could live her life.

The young man and the lady returned to the city. The young man was elated, believing the lady's mother had talked some sense into her, and they could proceed to get married.
He waited two weeks for the lady to open the conversation and tell him what her mother had discussed with her
The lady did not say anything, but she was still living with him in his apartment.
He decided to take the initiative
He went to a jewellery store and bought a wedding ring
He sought the best advice on how to propose
The following Saturday, they went on a date, and he proposed
She turned him down
He started crying immediately, right in the restaurant
The lady looked at him and said, "This is the reason I cannot marry you. You are not a man. You dress like one, move like one, act like one, but you are just a child.
What are all the tears for?
Why are you embarrassing yourself in public this way?
Are you now a gentleman in distress?
Am I supposed to be your princess charming who would ride a horse to come and rescue you?
Can't you see you are too emotionally damaged to be anybody's husband?

She left him at the restaurant, in tears.
He couldn't believe it
The same lady told him when they first met that she does not care for macho men who bottle their feelings and act all masculine.
She encouraged him to be vulnerable
She told him it was okay to express his emotions and let it all out
It was the one reason he felt very comfortable with her and wanted to marry her so desperately
They don't have much of an argument because when they do, he cries out and pleads for her forgiveness and mercy
She consoles him, and their relationship continues.
He couldn't imagine it was the same thing that was turning her off.

He didn't go home that night
He went to see a pastor friend and shared with him everything that had been happening regarding his relationship
The pastor friend counseled him till past midnight
When he got to his apartment the next morning, the lady was gone
She left a note stating that she had secured an apartment and would like him to respect that and keep away from her.

That was how that relationship ended.
Women usually try to explain to men how they should behave or feel, or act as men
This is wrong
You cannot tell a lion how to be a lion if you are not a lion
What women can do is tell men how to behave in regard to them, or how men should conduct themselves towards women, or how men should treat women right
A woman cannot tell a man how to be a man.
A man cannot tell a woman how to be a woman, too
You can tell her how to treat you or behave towards you or act around you, or conduct herself around you
You cannot, however, tell her or teach her how to be a woman.

-GSW-