Tame The Wildlings

If you know your parents are very troublesome by nature, you will not be making much progress in life if you work hard in life to be gentle and accommodating

Troublesome parents always end up smoldering the lives and destinies of their gentle children

They won’t suddenly stop being true to their nature when you get married or have children

They won’t suddenly stop being true to their nature when you start working and having friends

They won’t suddenly stop being true to their nature when dealing with your potential in-laws and potential spouses

When you don’t match their fire with fire as a single person, you end up giving them the permission to set your life on fire when you surround yourself with reasonable people

It is the very first law of preserving our relationships

“dear friends, my mummy can sometimes be like this or like that, when she begins her drama just walk away”

Or you can just give her so much trouble in return that she will learn not to come near you or anything that has your name on it

You will hear “Ha, I don’t put my mouth in GSW’s matter o, chai, I don’t want him to swallow me whole”

Children who don’t do this usually end up exposing everyone who comes into their lives to the fiery nature of such parents

My grandmother is a very strong woman and she is very troublesome too

One day she came to Lagos for a family function and when all her grandchildren went to greet her with their spouses, she kept them on their knees and insisted that each grandchild and their spouses must give her twenty thousand Naira each as greeting money.

All my siblings and cousins were arrested by her move

Most of us just graduated from the university and we were still struggling to make ends meet

We knew not to go greet her empty handed, but that 20K toll was too hefty at the time

I got there and met everybody on their knees begging her

She refused their plea

I walked up to her and dropped 1000 Naira at her feet, I then walked away.

She saw me, greeted me and that was it

The others were there until their friends and parents and other family members raised the money to bail them out.

Later, one of my uncles said “What gave you the audacity not to fall on your knees and start begging like the others.”

I said “Experience”

I am not a bully but if you try to bully me, I will rather die than give in.

My grandmother learnt that the hard way when we were young

She realized I won’t dance to her music and she forever gave me my space until tomorrow.

What she can try with the others, she cannot try with me

However, my obedient cousins still suffer from her hands till today

She insulted the wife of one of them recently, the young lady cried all night.

When my cousin told me, I smiled.

Of course she will never try such with me

I have shielded my family from her antics with my reputation.

When couples tell me stories of how their heavy handed parents ruined their friendships or relationships or marriages by barging into their lives and causing trouble needlessly, I say to them, you were the ones that gave her or them that room.

You knew your parents were ferocious by nature, instead of you to tame them, you allowed them roam freely all over your life

When you allow this, you also open the door to them attacking the other people you attract into your life

Some parents are loving

Some are choking and possessive

Some a Lordy and controlling

Some are street fighters

You are not responsible for which family you came out of but you are responsible for taming them or caging them or distancing yourself from their influence so that they don’t ruin the good things going on in your life

I have seen a lot of people who through sentiments allowed their overbearing parents ruin their marriages

Sometimes this overbearing attitude led to them making decisions that ruined the confidence of their partners in them forever

You may not be able to change your parents but you must manage them so that they know their boundaries

-GSW-