The Death Wish

I was reminded of a story as I prayed early this morning. This story was a true story that happened to me in 2008.
My younger brother and his girlfriend (now his wife) both graduated a year before I did
All of us attended the same university
I was in my final year at this time, and they were both observing their NYSC
It was around Christmas time
I was home for the holidays, and they both met somewhere and were coming to our house for the Christmas holidays too.
Something had happened while I was in school, something I didn't envisage or imagine could ever happen
The lady I was dating at the time had decided to leave the relationship without informing me
Another guy had come out of nowhere to snatch her from me
She had a phone and could have called to inform me that the relationship was over, but she didn't do so
She had cheated on me before this time, several times, I knew about it, and I forgave it.
In order to stop her from cheating on me again, I told her a lie
I said we had a family ritual that we do, that if we do it, once either party cheats, the person who the cheat sleeps with will die
She said she would do the ritual with me, and I took her to our village
Of course, we had no ritual
I just told her that once I introduce her to my family, the ritual takes effect
So she met my grandmother and some cousins
The next day, we returned to our schools, and she became faithful for three years

When I got to the final year, her department at the University of Ibadan organized an excursion to Badagry
She invited me along for the event, and I saw some of her moves with some of her male schoolmates
I realized she really wanted to sleep with the guy.
I could see it in their body language when they were with each other
I realized at that moment that the only reason she was not sleeping around was not because she loved me, but because we had made a "covenant".
My conscience began to trouble me
Even though I never cheated on her or planned to, tying somebody down under false pretences was not the right thing to do in the name of love
We got to Badagry, and I was left all alone to my own devices
Even when she came to sit with me at the beach, there was practically no connection whatsoever
I know what it felt like to be with her and around her. There was always this electricity in the air, but it was not for me on that trip
That electricity was for that other guy, whom she wanted to sleep with, but couldn't because she sincerely believed we had done a ritual
I hated how I felt throughout that excursion
I had hoped it would be a happy event for both of us, but it wasn't, and we didn't have a fight
The chemistry was just gone
In the midst of my turmoil about what to do with her, two ladies saw how lonely I was, and they came to make friends with me out of nowhere
One of them offered to share her corn and coconut with me, and I accepted
We began to talk, and I began to lament that I was not enjoying the trip
The lady asked me why, and I told her I was invited for the trip by my girlfriend, but I had been neglected throughout the trip, except for the occasional "Have you eaten?", "Hi and Hellos".
The lady asked me who my girlfriend was, and I pointed her out
The lady said, "That one has a hot pant for Tunde, we all know it, and it is a matter of time before they have sex."
The Tunde was not even a student, but he had set up a business center (Photocopies, lamination, phone calls, binding, assignment typing, and printing, etc) in their department
He was well known, and the lady could identify my girlfriend as the babe who had hot pants for him.
The discussion helped me a lot
When we returned to the University of Ibadan from the excursion, I told my girlfriend the truth.
"There was no ritual, there was no covenant. It was a lie. It was a ruse.
(Our relationship was eight years long at the time)
After the first five years, I caught you cheating with several partners. I forgave you and used the ritual line to stop you from cheating any further.
However, my conscience has been troubling me on the matter. I still love you, but you are free to do whatever you want going forward.
I deserve to be with someone who loves me for me and not because there was a ritual or covenant involved."
My girlfriend said, "You should not have told me this truth; you should have left me believing what I believe. Why did you tell me the ritual was a lie? Why did you do this to us?"
From her response, I realized she felt betrayed by my action, and I was determined to make it up to her and win her over so that she could truly love me for me.

I went off to school for the rest of the first semester.
By the time I returned for the December holidays, she had started dating the Tunde guy.
She didn't hide it, and she didn't announce it to her folks
She just encouraged him to check up on her at her parents' house and hang out with her and her siblings, as I had done before him.
So on this fateful day, I went to her house and I met her younger ones
We all sat down on the rooftop of their house, talking and playing games (The house was decked at the time)
She had gone out, and her siblings assured me she would be coming home soon
While I was with them, my younger brother @dafidimimo and his girlfriend (now wife) arrived for the Christmas holidays, but they met my absence at home
My mother told them I must be at my girlfriend's house, and they both came to check me there
So we were all together, laughing and talking and whiling away time until my girlfriend returned
As they predicted, she returned at about 5 pm with her new boyfriend in tow
The guy followed her into the compound, despite the fact that she had seen me from afar and could have discharged him.
They both came up to meet me and her siblings, and I even exchanged a handshake with him
My brother had seen what was going on. It was very obvious, and even the younger sisters of my girlfriend at the time felt the tension in the air
He was expecting me to react, but I didn't
The next thing he did was shocking
My brother jumped off the decked roof into the next compound
His girlfriend, my girlfriend, her new boyfriend, and all her siblings were shocked, and so was I.
Wow.
It was a huge jump, and he could have been seriously injured, but he was not
He stood up and dusted himself, and started walking back to our house in a huff
His girlfriend (now wife) ran towards the steps, and I followed her
As I walked home that day, I suddenly stopped loving my girlfriend
I suddenly realized my loving her and tolerating her madness was not hurting only me; it was hurting my brother, too.

PS: Why am I telling this story?
I couldn't predict the extent my brother was willing to go to show me the error of my ways
I got his message, however, and that was the last day I stepped into that lady's house
Even after she broke up with her new boyfriend and tried returning to me
I realized it would belittle me and be an insult to my brother if I ever presented her to him again and asked him to accept her as his sister-In-Law.
The moment she disappointed my brother, she was no longer good enough for me.
Who wants a wife who would not be loved by his only beloved brother?
I came into this world with him by my side from day one, and any woman or man who would come between us must have a DEATH WISH.
If the person succeeds in killing me, my death would destroy their love forever, and if I am alive, their love is poisoned because I didn't approve.
The best thing is to walk away and leave my brother be.

We may have our internal issues as a country, but if we do not rally around each other in the face of external aggression, we will fall!
It does not take much to pull down an empire; all that was needed at Troy was a gift horse
For Jericho, it was a harlot with a red scarlet on her window
For Jesus, it was Judas
For Caesar, it was Brutus
If somebody can volunteer to open the gate from within to let in the aggressor, the deed would be done.
It shouldn't be now, after several years of suffering together, surviving a civil war, surviving several wicked government policies, and thriving in spite of everything, that we will open the back door for the enemy.
I had been praying for the ministry of Pastor Sunday Adelaja for many months before coming across a documentary yesterday, which made me realize the impact war can have on destinies and relationships.
The political and religious leaders of Nigeria brought this evil to our door, and they must get rid of it with immediate effect.
They know what to do, so let them DO IT.
If they closed ranks and addressed the issue quickly and decisively, the agenda of the USA would be nipped in the bud, and everybody could go back to making skits and fighting over Aso Ebi or Ashebi, Owanbe or Owambe, and so on.

We are coming to Abuja this Saturday, inform everybody, we are coming with eternal rewards!

-GSW-