Virginity is not Worth

I saw a lot of young men writing ignorantly on the timeline several weeks ago that ladies must be virgins in order to be worthy of marriage.

I took it at the time that most of those pushing that agenda were young, naive, and idealistic.

They think sexual activity or lack of it is what defines a good wife.

Being a virgin does not mean one has a kind heart, a loving nature, or a sound mind.

It does not mean a woman or a man is fit to be a good wife or a husband.

I have seen a lady who married her husband as a virgin at the age of 19

Her husband was 21

Both of them are Christians whose parents encouraged them to get married early so that they would not be corrupted by the ways of the world.

They both gained admission to the Polytechnic Ibadan as a couple. The husband studied Civil engineering while the wife studied Mass Communication, both of them were at the Eruwa campus.

Even in that tight space, they both cheated on each other, and paternity fraud was committed.

Sister Gloria and Brother Seun of the ASF at the time had Boluwatife.

The name was a direct reflection of what happened to the two of them in the three years they spent at that campus from Pre-ND to ND2.

Their union did not survive that school.

The sister, who got married as a virgin at 19, amassed a total of 22 other sex partners apart from her husband.

The brother, who got married as a virgin at 21, amassed a total of five other sex partners apart from his wife.

When the pregnancy came, the sister was away on One Year IT at a TV station.

She got pregnant by one of the reporters and travelled to Eruwa to pin it on her husband.

The reporter later came to claim the baby a year later.

I can give other examples.

I am not in any way against people marrying as virgins, and this applies to both males and females.

There is more to marriage than that.

Virginity is not a guarantee of good character.

A virgin can be self-conceited, vain, crass, insecure, angry, jealous, malicious, violent, and disrespectful.

A virgin could desire to explore with other men or women. Not because her husband or his wife does not satisfy him or her sexually, but just out of curiosity

Being a virgin does not guarantee that he or she is full of joy from within and has the required warmth to keep the home aglow with love.

There are virgins dealing with depression, melancholic mood swings, disrespect towards friends and relatives, and so on.

There is no ail you will see in someone who is not a virgin that you cannot see in someone who is a virgin.

Marriage is about much more than sex.

A virgin could be in love with another and marry you for other reasons, and while you pride yourself on the fact that you are married to a virgin, you will not know that.

You only have his or her body and not his or her heart

He who pierces the hymen should not celebrate like the one who owns the heart.

What a marriage truly requires is unwavering loyalty, support, mutual respect, and true love from both the husband and the wife to each other.

-GSW-