1997 

SS 3 Students in my hostel were writing WAEC. The main subjects they were scared of were English and Mathematics. A day to the mathematics examination, rumors started flying around that some of the external students had paid for and gotten expos for the paper and were sharing it to those who would sneak them into the examination hall the next day. I was in SS 2 at the time, and I was a brilliant student. I made the mistake of saying “It is a lie, you guys will spend the night chasing shadows and this will only contribute to your inability to concentrate during the examination tomorrow which may cost you some marks. Study and sleep and then do your best during the exam tomorrow.

All the seniors looked at me as if I had run mad. Insults were hurled at me “Shut up, is everybody like you?” “If you don’t have anything to concentrate upon during exam but the ceiling or the wall, what then is the point of sleeping? One replied and everybody laughed. “Go and sleep, Mr. bookworm”

That was how most of them sneaked out of the hostel. They had no clue where the expo was but to them, they are putting in effort to pass the exam by going to look for it.

Someone will say “The expo is at Durbar” They will rush to Durbar, when they get there, they will be told it is at Owode, then they will rush to Owode. Another person will say it is at Ladigbolu, and they will run to Ladigbolu only to hear it is at SPED.

(These locations are one hour, or thirty minutes’ walk apart, and this was in the middle of the night, yet they braved the darkness and it’s evil to search and look for something that did not exist)

They did this till the wee hours of the morning before sneaking back to the hostel empty-handed. I watched them hang their heads in shame as they began to dress up before heading to the examination hall.

I should have read the room but well, I liked trouble a little. So, I said “Hope you guys were able to sell all the goods you went to sell in the middle of the night? Hope the money you made will contribute to your success in life?

They came for me. I had to jump out of the window before they would turn me to pasta.

I ran for my life. They came back from the examination hall with failure written all over their faces. Some of them didn’t even know enough to attempt one out of all the theories. The objective was a gambler’s dream, so they just gambled it away.

The day for the English examination was a week later, and they repeated the same process. It still baffles me till today. And yes, they all failed.

After they failed, they began to blame WAEC…

I was thinking of DANGOTE and all his successful moves and how some Nigerians are behaving like those my seniors. If I talk now, they will want to turn me to pasta, as if I was the one that covered their eyes from reading the handwriting on the wall.

Let me go and prepare my sermon, dem don talk say make I no dey put my mouth for issues outside of pulpit or dem go drag me.

Dear seniors, don’t drag me o.

-GSW-