Dilemma II

Dilemma II

Good evening, sir; I got your messages regarding my position and that of my husband on the issue of sponsoring his younger brother and his wife on their relocation project.

I assure you I am not as bad as I have been painted

My husband is a good man, a provider and an excellent lover

The issue here pertains to the scriptures 

He has a duty to me and my children and none to his brother

His brother is educated and responsible

Why feed a man who is not hungry?

My children and I are his responsibility; his brother is not

It is true that I sponsored my brother and his wife when they were relocating to Canada; it is what I can do that I did because we are a family, and family is always there for each other, but in my husband’s case, there is no controversy regarding financial strength when it comes to his family. 

They are well off, and my husband did not need to sponsor him or support him in any way

They are rich!

I supported my brother because we are struggling and still trying to find our feet as a family

How much did I spend to help my brother?

It is a chicken change for my husband and his family

It is his duty to ensure that I and my children have more than enough money to live a good life

How am I wrong in reminding him of that?

Who is he trying to impress?

His brother is a doctor, and his wife is also a doctor

My own brother is a graphics designer, and his wife was a full housewife before they decided to relocate.

Can you see the disparity?

He is angry that I complained about supporting his brother; who would not be?

Why waste resources on people who don’t need it?

I am writing this from a place of deep hurt 

I love my husband, and I stayed with him from the very beginning because this relationship is what I have always prayed for from the depths of my heart.

A relationship that will give me the room to grow and help my family’s financial position.

He paid for my mother and older sister’s relocation four years ago 

I acknowledge that.

I didn’t ask him to help out with my younger brother because I had enough money saved for that, and I didn’t want to bother him.

We have never gone for a vacation as a family; I know what my friends are doing every year, but I didn’t press him for that.

At the beginning of the year, I told him we. must have a goal as a family, and that goal is to spend the summer in either England, Spain or any other European country.

So that the children can have the right kind of exposure as early as possible

Now, he is spending the money on his brother, who I know can afford to sponsor himself and his family on this relocation project. 

He keeps saying it won’t affect his plan for me and the children, but spending 10000 on a trip and spending 5000 on a trip will give different kinds of experiences.

I cannot support him so much because I have spent my savings on helping my brother, and you know what the dollar is now when converted to Naira.

All I did was remind him of his priority!

Why would any sane man take offence at that?

Then he said if we can’t travel this year, will we travel next year

Why should we wait because he spent money anyhow?

I don’t understand

His brother is 40 years old and an accomplished doctor

My brother is 30 years old, and he was struggling to find his feet in this hard economy 

How have I done wrong here?

Please, sir, know that I can see from the two ends of the straw, and I know he is doing this to deny me and my children the opportunities we deserve just to support his brother, who needs no help.

I am assured that when you read this, you will see that I have in no way done anything out of line.

We have been married for over ten years, and I have given him peace and rest so that he can fulfil his purpose in life.

I am not one of those girls who will demand stuff and make the life of my man miserable.

I am an architect, and I work hard

It is true that my husband did not require that I support him financially, thank God for that, but does that mean I should fold my arms and be gullible?