Half A Dozen

Half A Dozen

The Therapy

She went to pick him at school
They got home
Ready to do the homework
The homework looked strange
"What kind of homework is this?"
The homework is for three days
Wednesday Thursday
And Friday
Psalm 58, 56 and 57
The following morning
She asked his teacher
"What does this mean?
Is this the new homework
The children do now?"
The teacher explained
"That's what he needs now
Study these passages with him
For the specified days"
"For how long
Will this be done"
She queried.
"For as long as it's needed"
Teacher said
"Alright thanks" she said

She woke up
Wow! It was a dream
She quickly rushed
To the bible passages
Picked a pen
And wrote out the revelation
This is the first time
She gets refered
To the Bible
From her dream

Her little boy
Had been mute
Since the accident
In March 2011
He was two years old
At the time it happened
She didn't notice
Until he turned four
She just realised
He doesn't talk
She took him
To the teaching hospital
He was given series of test
To carry out
By the next appointment
There was strike action
She went
To the military hospital
After another series
Of test
The consultant ruled out Autism and earring problem
He concluded
It was a delayed speech
Speech therapy was recommended
In the search
To get a speech therapist
They were referred
To orthopaedic hospital
At Igbobi
Another protocol to follow
The hospital insisted
On going through their test
All over again
The money she had spent so far
Came from the little savings she had
Contributions from house fellowship
Donations from family
Where will she get money again
She left Igbobi

A sister in church
Recommended a private speech therapist
He worked with the boy once
She could not afford the fee
Therapist charge per hour
It's like half
Her monthly income!
She decided to be
Her son's therapist
She went online
Downloaded some stuff
And started teaching the boy
The needed vocabulary
To communicate

One night she went into prayer
Telling God to take charge
Of her boy situation
That was when the revelation came
She prayed with the psalms
As specified
God answers prayer
All we need is to reach Him
Many of us go to God
As a last resort
Instead of reaching Him first

The little boy
Has improved greatly
He is nine years old
He speaks and sings well


Owner's Corner
She was going on a meeting with the Partner.
She waited with him for the driver
To bring the car to take them
She opened the back door
To sit at the right hand corner
Of the back seat
He remained motionless.
She wondered why he was not opening the front door
Beside the driver to take his seat
Within split seconds after the thought settled in
She realised what she was doing
She exclaimed "oh! I am sorry"
The Partner,  always cool
Mumbled "it's okay"
She quickly came out
And ran to the front seat
Beside the driver
She wondered whatever could have come over her
To take the owner's corner
Of her boss's car


As he walked in
A funny smell came with him
Like a pool of dirty water
She shrugged it off
Thinking he may be sweaty from work
He asked for a bottle of beer
She asked which brand
He answered and she obliged
He started to drink
And was talking
About people's hatred
Towards their fellow people
She listened
Before she commented
He started explaining
Without a beginning
His ranting
Was no longer making sense
It dawned on her
He is a mad man!

He asked for a second bottle.
She told him drink is finished
She stood up from her seat suddenly
And told him she wants to close for the day
She doesn't care if he didn't pay
All she wanted was for him to leave
He pulled out some rough and dirty notes from his pocket
Counted the exact price, paid and left
She closed the door after him
And was relieved that he is gone
Without any form of drama.
Never before then
Had she had a mad man
For a customer


Addressed the way you dress.


It's a family Sunday. Congregations worship in the family group they belong to. Couples in the Main hall, singles in the Dominion hall and children in the Children hall

She wore an iro and buba. At the entrance of the Dominion hall where singles are, the usher stopped her from going in.

Sis: excuse me?
Usher: this hall is for singles
Sis: I'm single
Usher: No you can't come in, please go to the Main hall

She was getting frustrated for not being allowed to go in. The argument continued. Eyes turned to the scene created. One of the other ushers recognised her and intervened. She was eventually allowed in.

The next family Sunday she decided to join the couple fellowship in the main hall. She wore a short wrap gown. Made her look sixteen.

Usher: you should be in the Dominion Hall
Sis: why?
Usher : this hall is for married
Sis: I'm married
Usher: Oh!

She walked into the hall  while the usher looked on.
Abike, 2017


BRT Gist

My Brt gist of 2018 started this morning. I entered brt bus from Maryland going to Onipanu. Bus attendant didn't tell me the bus is going to TBS straight. She just punch my ticket join me with others enter standing.

I press bell tire. Later I started screaming " Onipanu wa oh" the driver no gree stop oh! I just made up my mind that I won't go mad. Its too early in the year. I jejely stood there pitying myself cos I broke die. N100 jona, owo wogbo.

I quietly asked the lady by my side " where is the first bus stop for "straight" bus? " . She said its barracks.

I got down at barracks and spent another fare back to Onipanu.

What a waste
Of time and fare


Borrow Pose

The woman entered the hall
Where the event was taking place.
She was gorgeously dressed.
Every head turned to admire her.
She sat down gracefully
While she wait to be served food.
As the stewardess picked a plate
By Madam Gorgeous side
A drop of red oil landed
On the arm of her dress.
She screamed " Haaa! Aso alaso! (Borrowed dress )."
The other guests around the table
Forgot to pity her
And were amazed
That she does not own the dress
She looked so beautiful in.

Abike, 2017


African Time
An event was to start at 12pm
Guests won't come until 2pm
At an event I went recently
I was not only surprised
That guests started coming
From two to three hours late
But I was shocked that the celebrant
Came in at about five hours late
This is no longer African Time
It is International Time
Abike,  2017


The interview

A couple needed a maid.
A young lady with beautiful curves applied for the post.
All necessary questions had been asked and they were satisfied with the answers.
Man: one last thing please
Wife:what's that?
Man:I want to assess her physically. Helen stand up
The young lady stood up
Man:turn around
She turned.
When her buttocks was facing him he said "stop!"
He looked long and hard at the back side, smiled and licked his lips.
Man: she is okay. We will have her
Wife: Noooo! I don't want her
Man: why?
Wife: I just don't want her. Not to worry I don't even need a maid I will take care of things myself!

Abike, 2017