Losing Children

A mentor of mine got divorced
The court gave him and his wife joint custody of the children
His wife flouted the court order and whisked the children to the USA
This man did not fight
He prayed and prayed until he got tired
This happened in 2008
Everybody told him to move on
He was forty-five years old when this happened
The divorce and subsequent loss of his children took a heavy toll on him psychologically
He couldn't concentrate at work and had to resign
I went to his house with another classmate to visit him at the time
He had moved from his church (A baptist church in Lagos, to a Pentecostal church)
I asked him why
He said he met his ex-wife there, and her parents were still attending the church
He felt the church should intervene in the issue so that the ex-wife's parents could compel their daughter to grant him access to his children
The church did not do anything because his in-laws were very influential
So he felt there was no point seeing them every Sunday and torturing himself with pain and tears
He changed churches
He struggled financially for about two years
Eventually, he travelled to Europe
I saw him earlier this year
We got talking
He said he is trusting God for children at the age of sixty-three
I asked him why
He said his children in the USA had grown up and gotten married without knowing him
His ex-wife remarried in the USA, and the new husband became the daddy his children knew
He said even when he tried to call them on the phone to say hello
There was very little to say
He conceded that those children were lost
The new wife he remarried has yet to have a child

For some of us, what is the big deal there?
He had children, and they are still alive and well
He should just live his life and enjoy himself

For some, his fate was worse than death
To die without knowing your children and to die without your children knowing you

We all should be fair to one another when it comes to marriage and the weaponisation of children to punish our spouses.

Some men are lucky; their children end up looking for them later in life, but this is not always the case.

-GSW-