My First Valentine

In 1996, I found myself celebrating my first Valentine's Day.

I didn't know having a girlfriend came with such dire consequences

I was in the boarding house, and I had limited resources

Others had saved, scraped, or stolen money from their parents in preparation for the momentous occasion.

I had just twenty-five naira left from my pocket money, and we still had six weeks of school before the holidays.

The girlfriend thing started by mistake, I was a day student the year before in an all boys school.

My parents decided to move me to a boarding school that year for reasons I don't want to write about.

The boarding school was a mixed school.

I found it a bit clumsy being around so many girls at first, until they announced that we would be having inter house sport and everybody would participate in the trials

That was how some ladies from Homer Brown's house came to recruit me for the 200 meters race

It was one of the ladies who ended up becoming my first female friend and girlfriend

She was previously with a guy, but I needed the friendship more than he did, so I fought for it, and she became mine

Just then, I was told that the ladies in the girls' hostel compare Valentine gifts and would laugh at any lady who didn't get anything for Valentine's Day

This would then prompt a massive breakup after the valentine's Day

A friend of mine, also named Gbenga, started befriending the friend of the lady that I started befriending.

it was the natural course of things

She had a friend, and I had a friend

A triad is not fun, so my friend had to man up and return us to a dyad for convenience

From February 1st, 1996, the Valentine's fever began to spread all around the hostel

I saw those who had a bit of experience bringing gifts, which they had bought in big cities, out of their bags into their lockers

The pressure was out of this world

Where do I get the money to buy a gift for Funmilola Oyenuga?

I called my friend. What do we do?

He asked around, and we were told there was a farm somewhere in Oyo where we could do manual labour to earn 400 Naira each for one week's labour.

Since the school was basically preparing for the inter-house sports, we felt we would not really be missed.

So we signed up.

We snuck out of school daily by 9 am, went to a farm to do all sorts of manual labour, and returned to the hostel by 3 pm every day

We did this for two weeks and got paid 800 Naira each on the 13th of February.

On Valentine's Day, we snuck out of the hostel into Oyo town and found our way to a supermarket

We bought assorted biscuits N250, eclairs pack N100, shortbread N25, Valentine Cards N25, one female wristwatch N300, and Eva wine N80, making a total of 780 Naira each.

We spent 20 Naira on transportation to and from school and snuck back into the hostel

All our roommates felt we had gone mad. Everybody was broke, and these guys blew 800 Naira each on gifts for girls? Yuck.

We didn't care

We were in love, and this is what those in Love did.

I took time writing a poem in the Card

We waited till 4 pm, then we went into the school area and sent one of the junior girls we saw around to go call our respective "vals".

They arrived.

We talked for a bit

The House Masters and House Mistresses were particularly on alert and strict that day, so they couldn't stay for long

(Usually, we would read together daily in a classroom and enjoy one another's company)

I didn't even know what "sex" was at that time, and I guess my friend didn't know it either.

We would read, take strolls around the school field, joke and laugh, and sometimes listen as either of the ladies would share something that happened in the girls' hostel, and sometimes even cry.

We presented our gifts.

The ladies were grateful

We became MEN that day, in my opinion

The ladies gave us each a white handkerchief and a love letter

White handkerchief, N20.

They left, and we headed back to the male hostel

We knew we were in trouble

The boys were waiting to see what the ladies would give us in return

A particular roommate had told us that we should not return if the ladies didn't give us anything of worth for all the suffering we went through

We got to the hostel

The atmosphere was tense and morose

All the guys who had girlfriends had also returned from their valentine trip to the school area

They gave gifts and got letters, or at best a hug

My friend and I were the heroes

We got "white handkerchiefs" to show for our trouble

The other guys got nothing they could share or show off.

So we did what boys did

The two handkerchiefs were each spread in a hanger and hung on sticks in the middle of the room

All the guys sat down around the sticks and told their stories

What they gave and what they got in return

Love letters were read out loud amidst jeers and hoots

Those who got hugs said so, and those whose gifts were rejected for not being up to standard said so

We sang afterwards

Songs like Orlando Owoh's "Caro Yellow Sisi" and Daddy Showkey's "Dyna" and many more

We ate the rejected gifts (most were biscuits and drinks)

We made joy and memories out of it all.

As it was in the beginning, it is now and ever shall be.

Happy Valentine's Day

-GSW-