The minute he showed interest in her

She sensed something was wrong

He was too handsome to be single

He was too educated to be single

He was too popular to be single

He was too spiritual to be single

Had they met about ten years earlier

She would have joyfully fallen for him

She just turned 38

She had seen a bit of the world

She had had some life experiences

And she knew most of her age mates had gotten married with children within the last ten years

She had been close to getting married twice

The first guy was from her local government but he was resident in Germany

They were introduced by one of her aunties

He was an excellent communicator

She was 28 at the time and the relationship progressed excellently

He came home seven months after they had established communications for the Christmas holidays

They met and they got along very well

It was bound for the altar

Sometimes when they were together, he would ramble on about his former relationships

She enjoyed listening to him talk about who he had been with and what he did with them

It gave her a sense of transparency and security

Then he asked her about her sex life

She had nothing to tell

She was a virgin whose sexual adventure started and ended with a stolen kiss by a foolish boy when she was in school

She thought that was a good thing

To be pure, unsullied and undefiled

He didn’t

He said she needed to get deflowered

She thought he was joking

He stopped picking her calls after then

Her mother told her it was rare but it wasn’t strange

Some men just don’t want anything to do with virgins

They consider having to train, teach and educate a woman sexually a tedious task

She cried like crazy

Of all the men she could have fallen for

Why did she fall for the one who wouldn’t take pride in her virginity

She moved on

When she was 32, she came close again

This time she was very willing to lose her virginity to keep the guy

He was a handsome man who walked into her office one day, walked up to her desk and gave her his card

Behind the card, he wrote “If you call me in the next one hour, I will take it as a yes that you are open to a relationship with me. If not, good luck”

She found the message creepy

But she was desperate!

Practically all her friends had gotten married

She had been a best lady five times!

Her best friend’s mother tacitly told her when her best friend was getting married that someone younger than her should be the best lady

She got the message

She was too old to be a pretty side kick for her own best friend!

She called him

They went to the movies the next weekend

He was polite, had a good job and they shared the same faith

But he was very stingy

He had his phone on a permanent one minute trip off

He hardly calls and when he did, his call always lasted one minute

Whenever they go out, he would window shop and talk on and on about the things he loved or wanted

She would make a mental note of such and sometimes buy them for him

Regardless of cost

He could never bring himself to buy her anything

He would call whatever she wanted beautiful and elegant if she was the one paying for it but the same items will become extravagant and a waste of money if she asked him to pay

When they go out on dates, he would rather drink coke than eat

If she offers to buy he would eat with gratitude

If she asked him to buy her food, he would say he cannot buy for anybody something he cannot afford to buy for himself

When she protested once about his stingy nature

He said he took after his father and it is called prudence!

She realized almost one year into the relationship that even though she was desperate, she was beginning to hate him

And they were not yet married

When he proposed a few weeks later, she tearfully said no

It was what she had always wanted but not from someone she can cope with for one more day!

After she broke up with him, everything went south

She became the left over, fair game for married men!

She didn’t know how it happened, but for three years, all the Hi’s and Hello’s she got were from married men

They don’t bother to lie or pretend about it

She fell into depression!

She had moved out of her parent’s house when she clocked 33

All her older and younger ones had gotten married

She hated the questioning looks and side glances she got from her parents’ friends and their neighbors

Practically all those she could regard as friends had married or travelled abroad or at least left home

She had become a joke

So she rented an apartment and became a live alone spinster

It felt good at the beginning

She equipped the house with all the modern gadgets she could afford and got a car

She was determined to enjoy her life

And yet once in a while the thought would hit her

How had she done wrong and why had her marital destiny delayed this long

The depression really got her

She would sink into herself and sometimes the darkness would swallow her up

She went to work and tried very hard to keep up with life’s motions

But nothing was enjoyable anymore

Even food lost its taste

She just wanted it all to end

Sometimes she would wake up feeling happy, she would step into the sunshine and she wouldn’t feel any heat from the sun

And then the gloom and doom would descend and the sun, though blazing hot would be darkened

She battled with this state of mind for two years

Her mother and elder sister came to her house one day

They came to do a sort of semi-intervention

They had gone shopping and bought her loads of clothes

They carted off her entire wardrobe and toiletries

They changed her perfume and even her electronics

Her mother insisted it was because she was surrounded by old things that she was depressed

The theory was wacko but she didn’t have the energy to argue

The funny thing was the clothes her mother and elder sister bought for her were outright scandalous for someone her age

Short skirts, alter necks, body hugs, high heeled shoes! Even the formal dresses made her look more Kim K than Meghan Merkel!

She told her mum her observations

Her mother made her promise to manage the clothes for 6 months before changing them


She met him in church the following Sunday

She had tried her best to choose the most decent of the clothes

It was a long red gown with a slit that almost reached into the heavens in front of it

It was downright scandalous

She reasoned that if she got to church early there would be less prying eyes

Once the service closed, she hurried to the car park

He was parked right next to her

He came up quickly behind her as she got to her car

He: Hi, I have been waiting for you

She knew him as a member of the church, she had seen him often in the past

She: Hello, I didn’t see you. How may I help you?

He: I am a movie director and one of my movies will be premiered tonight at 6pm. I had been advised to bring a significant other and the person I spoke with earlier disappointed. I was wondering if you’d be free to help a brother out. I promise you this is not a pick up line. I need to make a very good impression and I have been told some of my sponsors would be impressed with someone like you beside me.


She agreed.

She didn’t kid herself. She knew it was the clothes she wore that he was talking to all the while. The gown was Hollywood level.

That evening, he picked her up and they went to the movie premier together

It was a success

He called to say thank you the following day and asked if he could take her to dinner

That was it

Within six months, they had become an item

"We must have seen each other in that church for almost three years, we sometimes even greeted each other, what made that Sunday different? She asked him

"The gown" He replied, "I had a dream that Saturday night, I saw you wearing that provocative gown so self consciously and embarrassingly. I thought to myself in that dream "Was she forced into it" and laughed. As i was about to turn away, I heard a clear voice say to me, That is your wife!

I was so sure it was a foolish dream. You have never dressed like that before and you would never dress like that to church. You knew better and had always acted reasonably. I was wrong! You wore the scandalous gown to church on a Sunday, you were self conscious and embarrassed and you hurried away after the service like a scared chicken. You didn't want anybody to see you. You didn't want the attention. I watched you throughout the service. I was convinced you wore it because God wanted to convince me beyond measure that you are my wife.

The respond rendered her speechless! What could anybody say to that?

It was just too good to be true

Something would go wrong

How could he be this perfect and still single?

He proposed

She said yes

She was sure the whole thing would crash at anytime

She tried to have faith, she tried to believe, and she tried to trust God

Wedding day came, there was no scandal!


She got pregnant and delivered her first baby

No hidden woman or children showed face

How could a man who works in an industry reputed to be seriously immoral be so pristine?

She still couldn’t answer that question

PS: The marriage is ten years, eight months old

It is blessed with two children

She says God preserved the very best husband for her but for the first five years of their marriage, she was always thinking the real truth would come out and her perfect life would be shattered.

It never happened!

They looked upon him, their faces were radiant and they were not put to shame!

This is by no means an endorsement of scandalous dressing either to church or anywhere else. The story is a clear example of God using the most unexpected thing to catch our attention and/or orchestrating events to work in our favour.

Thank you


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