The Debt of Emotional Consistency

We value consistency so much that changing our minds can feel like failure.

You chose a career years ago. Your interests, priorities, and circumstances have changed. Still, leaving can feel like admitting you wasted those years, so you choose to stay.

This happens with beliefs, relationships, goals, and even the way we see ourselves. Once we’ve invested part of our identity in a decision, changing it can feel like rejecting a piece of ourselves.

Researchers have examined why people remain attached to previous choices even after circumstances change. I

t turned out that previous investments of money, effort, or time can influence people’s willingness to continue with a chosen course of action.

You can stay loyal to a decision long after it has stopped being right for you.

What to do instead

Ask: “If I had never made this decision before, would I choose it today?”

You don’t have to act on the answer immediately.

But take it seriously.

Your past self made a decision with the information available at the time. Your present self has more information.

Changing your mind can be evidence that you learned something.