The Proxy Man III

Most of us have decided that materialism and money are more profound than our nature.

A woman has optimized her life so perfectly that she has rendered herself unnecessary to everyone but her employer.

She has the high-thread-count sheets and the king-sized bed. But she has no one to witness her silence.

The travel and the luxury SUV are synthetic oxytocin replacements.

Morgan Stanley projections, based on U.S. Census Bureau data, show that 45% of prime working-age women (ages 25–44) will be single by 2030 — the largest share in recorded history, up from 41% in 2018.

Building a company is hard. Building a relationship where both people feel safe enough to be ordinary — that is something the achievement economy has no metric for, and no reward for, and no interest in.

Men aren’t as intimidated by your success as you’ve been told.

They’re disengaged by the lack of contrast it creates.

A man who spends ten hours competing with other men doesn’t want to come home to a junior version of his business partner. If you provide more friction than peace, you displace his role before he has a chance to fill it.

If you occupy every role, there’s no room for anyone else to enter.

These are tools for your own nervous system. Not strategies for managing a man.

Sit in your car for five minutes before entering your home. Release the war face — not for him, but because your cortisol doesn’t know the meeting ended.

Let him choose the restaurant. Not because his preference matters more, but because the threat is gone and your grip doesn’t know it.

Stop saying “I’ve got it.”

Start saying “I’d love your help.” This is the difference between living in a fortress and living in a home.

Take a bath.

Wear soft fabrics.

Signal to your body that the war is over for today.

Your biology needs that cue. Give it one.

The woman who can run a boardroom at noon and choose to be soft at midnight isn’t performing anything. She’s operating at full range. That’s mastery, not compromise.

We don’t need a time machine. We need a biological homecoming.

I think back to that woman I met some years ago.

Her career was her life, and she sought to weave everything, even the man who loved her, around it with a conviction that made her choices impractical

She said, I cannot joke with my career, so you must buy a house in Lekki and it has to be a few minutes away from my office.

It must have a large sitting room for me to be able to

host my department and junior colleagues during the weekend, so that I don't have to go to the office if the need arises.

You must get a chef. I work hard, and cooking may not fit into the plan

On the issue of sex, I am open to giving it anytime I am at home as long as you are willing to sleep with a woman who might sleep off while having sex due to exhaustion

She was extraordinary, but at the end of the day, I had to ask myself why I would marry such a woman. Her career was her husband, and I was the side cock.

She wanted me to worship her career the way she did, but I was too rich to worship anything other than God.

She claimed she wanted to marry a rich, independent, and successful man like me, who does not have a career, like she did so that we can complement each other

She didn't consider that a rich, independent man has a world and a life that he had built around his success, which cannot accommodate being fitted around a woman's career if it will remain a great and sustainable life.

It didn't work out.

Not because of my ego, but because I am a master, and her career was also a master to her.

No woman can serve two masters.

She either serves her career or her husband.

The man must be the center, the career must be the side piece or it would never be a happy marriage.

She had to choose between the career she was building and the successful man she desired.

She chose her career!

Nature is a patient creditor. She doesn’t send reminders. She simply collects.

I don’t know if she met another man who fitted into her world as I couldn't.

I do know that I met another woman a few months after I broke up with her.

She was just like her, younger and more beautiful. This lady was also on a career path, but when it was time to choose, she made me the center of her world as I made her the center of mine.

I wish the proxy man would learn, and I wish her good luck.

-GSW-