Breaking up?

If you are a Christian brother, courting 
a Christian sister and the two of you 
have agreed to get married but 
somewhere along the line you changed 
your mind for one reason or the other, 
please do the honourable thing, sit with 
her face to face and tell her the truth
Just as you sat with her and told her 
you wanted to marry her, do the same 
as you call it off
Dont hide behind a dream, a prophecy, 
a vision, or a word of knowledge even 
if that was truly the reason you were 
calling it off
Don't lay the blame at the feet of the 
Holy Spirit or other ministers of God
'Don't act as if you wanted to go along 
with the plans but "God" is the one 
breaking her heart on your behalf. 
Be honourable, be sorry, explain your 
reasons in the natural (However 
unreasonable they might be) and be 
very kind. 
Assure her that you know God has 
better plansfor the two of you but 
somehow you are not convinced you 
are the right guy for her.
Don't cop out or ghost her
Don't block her phone number and/or 
all social media platforms where 
you can communicate
Don't start acting like a snake 
because you do not want to bear 
the responsibilityfor her pain at that
moment
Ladies must please learn how to do 
this too
I have seen cases where the lady will 
start praying that the guy should 
break up with her because she does 
not want to be responsible for 
breaking up a relationship
That is sheer stupidity
It's like realizing you are driving in 
the wrong direction and praying that
 God should turn the car around for 
you because you don't want to 
admit that you have been driving in 
the wrong direction all along
That's just lame!
The moment you realize you have 
boarded a vehicle going towards the 
wrongdestination, you should do 
everything to disembark or if you're 
driving, you must turn the car around
Treat that fellow with dignity
Treat that sister with dignity
Remember that you owe each other 
a duty to respect and be forthright 
with each other
Yes, he or she might cry
It is a natural reaction
Don't be impatient or dismissive
Don't resort to emotional blackmail
Don't embarrass each other in 
any way
Don't send messages full of bile 
and venom
Either as the one breaking off the 
relationship or the one being told 
things wont work out as planned
You are royalty and as such your 
blood is Christ
You can take a dead seed and produce 
a living tree from it
The news that you have given or 
received is good in so many ways
You may not see that immediately 
but it is better to be told it is over 
than to assume there is still a
relationship when there is none
A one-sided relationship robs its 
participant of self-esteem
It is best that all cards are on the 
table and yes if you have met 
somebody else (This is not usually 
the way Christian courtship works, 
but I am addressing a generation 
that has decided on many things 
and concluded on many things 
before learning how that thing 
really works)
Please be forthright!
Tell her or him you met somebody else
Dont say you saw a vision or got a 
prophecy or had a dream or were 
given this person by an angel etc
Say "I have been unfaithful to our 
agreement to be together
I met somebody and I want to do 
the right thing by calling our 
relationship off"
If you're dating a persuasive guy 
and he turned on the charm to 
convince you to stay in the 
relationship with him after you 
have broken it off, please say NO
Dont be spineless
And brother, it is okay for a lady to 
break up with you sir. 
Don't be one of those guys who 
would say "A lady cannot break up 
with me, I must be the one to walk 
away" 
Such an ego is a fruit of the flesh
I'd rather a lady walks than get 
married to me and give me "hell"
Don't let him or her discover you are 
seeing someone else by chance or 
mistake
Please grow up
If you claim you are full of the Holy 
Spirit and you walk in the spirit as 
you ought to, there are certain things 
that you must watch out for
A vague message (Prophecy or word 
of knowledge) that you have to be 
guessing its meaning or assuming its 
meaning
A lot of young believers find their lives 
manipulated through such vague 
prophecies
God knows you by name and He 
dwells in you
Why would he be speaking to you in 
riddles? Are you not greater than
Moses whom he spoke with Mouth 
to Mouth?
Have you not been filled with the 
fullness of God in every way?
So this pastor was invited to your 
church and he says "I see you 
climbing an escalator going downwards. 
The more you climb the more you 
remain in one spot"
And you conclude that he is talking 
about your relationship, so you break 
it up!
Wow.
Suddenly God is giving you fill in the 
gap puzzles to fill in order to determine 
the course of your life in Christ
Was that how Jesus was led?
Was that how Peter was led?
Was that how Paul was led?
Is that how you should be led?
If your Mummy or Daddy said NO 
to the relationship because your 
choice does not settle well with them, 
please tell him or her the truth
Don't hide behind any spiritual 
manifestation
Don't be a coward and a cad
Don't make the Holy Spirit the fall guy
He hasfeelings too!
Two believers can marry for love
I know many of us have been told 
we must hear a voice and have a 
dream and all
I have counseled many young couples 
and I assure you 80% get married 
for love
They might cook up one "dream or a 
leading" to satisfy religion but in 
truth they are doing it for love
It is okay for two mature, born again, 
and "ready" believers to fall in love 
and get marriedUnless we all insist 
on pretending "We heard from God" 
when the going is good and 
"Unhearing from God" when things 
go south
Many stayed in the wrong relationship
because they said they heard from 
God when they didn't and they don't 
want to have to admit they made a 
mistake
There is a purpose to Christian marriage
 that is beyond the man and the woman
A believer who is walking as led by the 
spirit can never miss it
Finally, one of the reasons sex before 
marriage is not a good idea is because 
it complicates things
Sex blurs the lines of reason
It leads to a guilty conscience and 
emotional issues
It is best to keep your relationship clean 
so that you can maintain a clear head 
while in it!