Captive of Delusions IV

Where am I going with all this... I began to notice the characters, the changes, the wickedness when I stopped having money, when I stopped bringing. And then, my daughter fell ill. The crisis, she just started developing a fever, we were going from... I was going for Health Center initially, but in two days, she would fall ill again. And after, before you know it, there was no cure for the fever. So we ended up at General Hospital.

In all this time, he would tell me to drop her that there was nothing wrong with her.

We moved a bit further away from his mum. He also got a job that kept him at work throughout the week, only for him to come home on weekends. His mother comes around whenever he is around. She would cook and bring food for him, but during the week when my daughter was having her health crisis, his mother would tell me that our new house was too far, she couldn’t come. She also wouldn’t call, but if she manages to call me once and I don’t pick up, she will call my husband quickly and tell him that she has been calling several times, but I refused to pick up her call. Just to cause issues and friction.

Ah, did I also mention? After I gave birth, my daughter turned one year. The month she turned one year, after that, he never touched me again. And that’s... we didn't have sex for over a year. For over a year. There was no sex, and I... if I go to him and tell him, "Uh-uh, why?" If I touch him, he would... when I asked him, he would just ignore me. We are not quarreling; there was no quarrel then. My mind didn't go to the fact that he was getting services outside.

*(She is still complaining about not having sex with a man who has HIV. She didn’t leave him, she saw that the baby she had had been infected by it and she still wanted to have sex and make more babies with the same man. Woman of Sorrow!)

Hmm. But then in the health crisis issue, at the peak of it... because I had borrowed, I had... I was running mad. I didn't want to lose my child. She was... she began to have seizures. General Hospital wasn't discovering anything until later; they did an HIV test and discovered she had HIV. And I had it too. I have several hospital cards because of her before they discovered what was wrong.

He was the one with the infection, of course. Hmm. So we started treating. She was diagnosed with both HIV and TB. While I didn't have it, he didn't have the TB, she didn't... I didn't have the TB, so we were wondering where she got it from, but still God took control. I borrowed, I borrowed, I borrowed, I am now deep in debt.

But she recovered, started recovering, came back. And I'm not somebody who likes drugs, so I couldn't stand the drugs. The drug was... and you have to take it every day at a particular time. It's terrible. It's a terrible situation for anyone, not to mention somebody who doesn't like drugs.

But I was managing. But then, for somebody who brought the infection, if I ask him for money to transport to go to the hospital, he will tell me he doesn't have. He’ll tell me he doesn't have. In fact, when we were walking, when we were running around, the church kept asking, the pastor would ask, "What of your husband?" I said, "He’s well." It’s well.

I carried the burden, the financial burden, the emotional burden, the physical burden, everything for that child. She survived. The hospital was surprised she would survive because, at some point, they thought she would die. They actually thought she would die; doctors thought she would die. But she didn’t; she survived. And I thank God that she's alive because, ah, it's well.

Then the abuse started. Apart from the emotional abuse before then and the financial abuse, the verbal abuse. He started verbally abusing me with words, vulgar words.

And at some point... let me even get to this one where the child was supposed to start school. And he lost the job, in January this year, he lost his job.

He was sacked. And then the child had already been stipulated to start school. Hmm. When I asked him, he said, uh... during all this time, yes, also to remember, I told you we relocated. So in relocating, he said he doesn't have money that I should borrow. He was the one who troubled the landlord until he gave us a quit notice. Now he said I should borrow.

So I borrowed from a thrift and borrowed from OPay. And then we paid the house rent, and his mother borrowed for him from somewhere, he added everything and paid, and we moved. Then my daughter started the... the serious, the critical health crisis. But after this, ah, he refused to pay most times. And sometimes he will not give me money for food at all.

He’ll tell me since I have money for the hospital, that means I have money.

The thrift organization that I borrowed money from was always calling

My daughter is sick, I'm trying to... the bills for the compound, the prepaid meter has debts on it, so we have to recharge a huge amount of money in order to be able to use it

I’d just be running... I’d just be running around helter-skelter, but God kept providing.

The last straw was when we repaid OPay’s debt on our own, and I had to borrow more money from OPay to pay off the thrift people.

He saw that I borrowed to pay them and bought some food for the house

Shortly after that, Stanbic allowed me access to my bank account again

I think there were about 12,000 Naira there. So I took 4,000 from it and got something, or 2,000 from it and got shoes for my daughter

While I was sleeping, he had access to my account, my phone, and everything else. That was then.

So he will come back, he will check and, you know, scroll and do everything while I'm sleeping. And I see him most times because I'm not a deep sleeper, but I let it go; I have no secret.

Oh, this time, that day, he withdrew money from my account. Note, you didn't send money, you have not sent money, I have paid thrifts for you, I have done this, I have done bills, I have done everything, and you still had the mind, and you had money with you. That was the wonderful, painful part. He had money with him. He still withdrew 5,000 Naira from my account.

PS: Imagine how one can foolishly allow herself be so denigrated that someone who should not be in your life is making life hell for you and you are counting it as suffering in marriage. Is there a better way to tell someone she is foolish?