Tabula rasa

Tabula rasa

She had four suitors as soon as she graduated from the University

She had dated on and off for years but never thought it right to awaken love when it would most likely not lead to anything tangible

The four suitors were fine young men, each one responsible and lovable in their own way but none of them rang a bell for her

She felt the love they profess wasn’t wholly for her person but more for what she had become

She was a medical practitioner of note

A trophy wife material for any ambitious man

She knew this, but wanted love for her to be about her person, who she is!

She was also drawn to intelligent conversation

"Is he deep?

Would he be adding any value to her life?

Could she learn from him?

Could he sustain an intelligent conversation without feeling intimidated by her depth?

Is he a thinker?"

She loved thinkers!

Her Father was also a doctor and a thinker to boot!

She turned to the Lord in prayer

Her walk with the Lord had deepened over the years and her fellowship with the Holy Spirit was awesome

“Lord, it is time for me to get married, please guide my “husband” to me”

There was a guy she had long heard wonderful things about

He was an egghead, a thinker, a trailblazer and a doctor

He had been in the UK for some time

He also looked the part

He ticked all her boxes

He definitely would want her for who she was and she would definitely love and respect him

She found his message in her inbox right after she prayed


She was overwhelmed with joy

Was it really that easy?

They got talking

His words stirred her soul

Within a few weeks they had became very close friends

Love poems twirled back and forth

Their discussions were not only engaging, they were deep

Her heart was tabula rasa

He took his time to write on it with the imprints of his soul

But he didn’t ask her out

He just declared his love out of the blue, boldly and unabashedly

She didn’t know what to make of it

Was the declaration the beginning of a relationship or a statement of fact?

She had seen many people with declared love who never went on to act on it

“What does this mean?”

He returned home

They met

He bought her gifts, spoke very kindly to her

Ah! Stuff of dreams!!

Her grandmother died

Friends and well-wishers came to condole with her mother

He came around, condoled with her mother and spent some time with her

She had been curious about chemistry

Would they feel awkward around each other?

Would they feel right together?

Would it be natural and seamless?

It was a glorious time

He was her forever desire

As he was about to leave, he gave her the news

He had been previously married but now divorced



This was an absolute blinder?

Another woman’s husband?

She would automatically become an adulteress!

He saw her shock and tried his best to soften the blow

The woman he divorced had been previously married, she was only after his money, she tried very hard to dupe him, the marriage lasted only a month, the woman went back to her ex-husband after the wedding, he would soon get a nullification, it was a dent he regretted but he had to move on….

She saw him off

That night she gave herself a stern evaluation

She loved him! That much was undeniable

She could see their future together


She had always carried her family along before she dated anybody

She didn’t want to invest her time and energy in someone her parents would disapprove of

She told her mother

Her mother said “No way”

She talked and talked

Trying to sell the idea to her mother

Her mother sensed her determination to marry him

Her mother told her to get the opinion of a Bishop

The Bishop advised that she should try someone fresh but it was not wrong if they both have sincere and genuine intentions

She told her mother

Her mother asked her to get a second opinion from a pastor

The pastor said the same thing

Her mother said her father would never approve

She took her time, prayed and approached her father

Her mother saw her whispering with her father

Two doctors, Hippocratic Oath collusion!

Her mother told her to leave the room

Convinced her father it is a No, No

Her father said No

She called her guy

This is what my parents said

Her guy said she should arrange a meeting

He would like the opportunity to speak with her parents

She told her father her guy wants to meet

Her father agreed

By this time her guy was back in the UK

She called him

She sensed he had become aloof

She didn’t understand it

He claimed her mother gave him a cold treatment the day he came to their house, he had other ladies warming up to him whose parents didn’t have any problem with his status as a divorcee, he just didn’t want to be stressed over a past mistake!

She felt horrible

Her she was fighting tooth and nail for their love

Defying her parents

Defying God

And he wasn’t even acting like he wanted to fight along with her!

She cooled her enthusiasm

He noticed

He called

He apologized

It was back on


He said he’d meet with her father

She told her father

Her father said “Ask if he truly deeply loves you”

She told him “My Father said I should ask you if you truly deeply loves me”

He said: “I truly deeply love you”

She was happy

He returned home from abroad

He called her

“Please don’t tell your Father I am back from the UK”


She went to see him, she didn’t understand

He: I don’t love you like that anymore!

Since when? This was a guy who was declaring his true deep love just three days before

He said he felt he was a bit confused and had to search himself to see if the love was still there

But the love had gone!

So why didn’t you tell me since so that I can move on with my life? Why did you drag me on and on while I turned my back on those who loved me and were protecting my interest?

Why tell me you love me just three days ago?

He said it wasn’t that simple, she was over simplifying stuff

She said love is a decision

He said love is a feeling

“So when you stopped having the feeling, why didn’t you just say so?”

He walked away!

It was as if a knife was driven into her heart, everything grinded to halt

She is still picking the pieces, trying to get the engine running again!

PS: It happened from March 15th 2016 until January 2017

She had repaired the damage done to her relationship with her parents

She insists no man is worth turning your back on your parents and God for

She is stronger for it!