When Dogs Play with Wolves

When Dogs Play with Wolves

 I once worked with a lady, a happily married woman with three children. She fancied herself cheated out of her youth by marriage. All her friends while she was in UNILAG were still dating and escorting men all over the world when her boyfriend proposed and she said yes.

 She didn't sever ties with her old friends, they gave her stories of their escapades with different men and the sort of luxurious lifestyle they were enjoying from Dubai to Jakarta. Ten years into her marriage, she began to work in our office, one of her friends was a side chick to the MD and she helped her secure the job her primary role as the HR Manager was to help her friend filter the incoming staff members and those already in-house for potential threats against the friend's interest in the form of ladies who might want to get close to the MD or those the MD might employ in exchange for sexual favours, etc.

The MD was a randy man who slept with everything in skirts he was not a believer and he believed heavily in polygamy, even though he was married to only one wife whenever his wife complains, he would tell her he had a right to marry at least four wives and chose not to do so yet because of her. However, if she persisted in pestering him he would marry a second wife.

The wife wanted to be the only wife, so she turned a blind eye for a while Eventually, when she couldn't take it anymore, she relocated to the USA with their children and left him to his own devices.

She was an American citizen by virtue of being born in America, though raised in Nigeria to two Nigerian parents. As soon as the wife left Nigeria, the husband got the freedom to chase skirts the side chick felt she should be elevated to wife number two but didn't want another lady usurping her throne this was why she talked her husband into employing this lady. The lady was a safe option to her given that she was married with children.

When the lady resumed at our office, it was obvious she didn't know how to fit into the office setting socially, she didn't want to be seen as the "dignified" married woman. She identified more with the single ladies and was a champion of all sorts of dirty talks and sexual jabs in the office she told us the story of two members of her church who were both Christians and had vowed not to defile the marriage bed one day during the early morning briefing in the newsroom, she said the lady in the union had the opportunity to travel to Dubai with her boss on a business trip and lost her sense of propriety when she saw the wealth on display by the boss in Dubai that she ended up warming the boss's bed throughout the trip only to come back home to repent and continue with her relationship with her husband. She was not a news person but our newsroom welcomed every staff member who might offer a unique point of view on any potential news story for the day. That story was told for the benefit of the MD I knew it and some other staff members in the office knew it.

The MD was planning to open an Abuja office and the recruitment was to begin a week from that day The MD had subtly made it clear that he would be outsourcing the role of the HR for the Abuja office. This lady felt she should manage both offices and pitched her case to the MD The MD "jokingly" said to her "I cannot sleep on an empty bed in Abuja, why would I fly you there when I can fly a fine girl there to warm my bed and also double as my PA for the trip".She didn't reply to him immediately, the next morning she shared that story about her friend I walked up to her after the briefing and asked her to consider her choices, she was the one who came out of the MD's office the previous day laughing like a jackal while sharing with the members of staff present that the MD would rather carry babe to Abuja to warm his bed and pretend to be his PA while earning so and so amount as out of station allowance and so on, she was the same person telling everybody a story that was subtly telling the MD she would sleep with him and return to her marriage.

I remember discussing it with a Christian sister in the organization and thinking of a way to convince this HR lady that she was heading in a direction that would twist her life in and out like the oak of Kadesh.

The following week, I suddenly noticed a change in the HR's dressing, hairstyle, and carriage, a mother of three actively entering into the seduction game. The Abuja trip happened she went with the team, she slept with the MD they returned to Lagos recording a success in the establishment of the Abuja outfit. She returned home to her husband she developed a mental affliction a few days later her friend who got her the job heard what she had done and decided to teach her a lesson.

The MD got wind of what had happened and pleaded with his side chick to let it go, the side chick insisted her friend must be sacked the side chick told the friend's husband everything that happened the side chick changed her Twitter handle from her name to @oloriXXXXX, the X's is the name of the MD.

 Her husband and mother began to take her to churches for help almost two years after this drama, I saw her again I had resigned from the office and started working as a PA to a Pastor somewhere in Lagos when the mother brought her to the Pastor for prayer. By this time the husband had washed his hands off her and dumped her with her parents the Pastor they brought her to prayed for her and assured her mother she would be fine.

The mother returned a week later crying that her daughter had another psychotic break and had become very violent because of this, they couldn't get her into the car to take her to the hospital. The Pastor instructed three men in the office, including myself to go and help the mother contain the situation.

We went on the church bus while we were on the bus I told the two brothers with me what I knew about her and the origin of her affliction, they berated me for not telling the Pastor I felt the Pastor should have known by the spirit unless God did not want it to be known. I also couldn't tell if sharing the story with the Pastor would solve the problem.

 In some cases, a Pastor might feel she deserved it and stop praying for her, when Pastors pray for people and they don't get results, they tend to look for excuses instead of pressing further to inquire of the Lord what to do. Anyway, we got to the house and the lady was berserk So I called her by her first name and told her to sit down because we had come to have a serious discussion with her.

After a few minutes of more noise, she sat I told her who I was and that I know her story I mentioned the MD's name and the name of the side chick, I mentioned her marriage and her children, I reminded her that she was socially insecure in her marriage and felt she should have had more adventures as a single lady instead of getting married early and this was the root cause of her problem.

It is always a terrible thing to find yourself wearing a shoe and doubting whether the shoe fits or wondering what it would feel like to wear the shoes of another person. One should learn to appreciate his or her lot in life we talked for like an hour or more, and wherever I forgot a detail she would quickly add it to ensure I got the story straight.
She wept after this episode she wept in regret and pain I embraced her and told her everything would be fine. When we were done crying, we prayed and I asked the Lord to give her a fresh start that the old path was too coloured for her to go back to. The mental affliction ended that day we met once or twice after this episode at church functions or social functions done by some church members I moved on in life and so did she.

This morning, as I was taking a walk around the Royal Arsenal Park in Woolwich, guess who I met walking briskly towards the train station? It was her! My former HR Manager she saw me and flew into my arms in a warm embrace, she said she came to pick up her husband at the train station,
I waited with her and we caught up she had remarried and relocated to the UK about three years ago she is still in touch with her former husband and their children. Her former husband had remarried and now lives in Abeokuta due to a transfer from work, I met the husband briefly and continued on my journey to my hotel.

 PS: I know a lot of young ladies and young men battle with the "what could have been syndrome" after getting married they wonder if they should have waited it out to marry someone else or even focussed on their careers and so on.  I counsel couples to be sure of what they are getting into as individuals and to be sure it is what they want. It is not about parental expectations, religious responsibility, or obligation, you must be comfortable in the shoes you find yourself in. I am happy for Sister Diwura, I like her new husband a lot, he is a pastor and I have great respect for Pastors, I also perceive that she is genuinely happy and comfortable being his wife for this, I give glory to God!