Why Marry With Resentment?

He: We had an agreement to do a small wedding

We agreed that I would bring ten people, and she would also bring ten people

To this end, I rented a 10-seater bus, which all my important relatives and I rode in to the venue

We got to the venue, and it was a hall

The crowd waiting was over 500

So I got back in the bus with my people, and we returned to Ibadan

It is not my family that will be disgraced because I want to get married

She: Sir, how can a man be this heartless?

My parents were the ones who got the hall and also invited the guests

I told them that I had agreed with this man that it will be a small wedding

My mother said, "When we were not mourning or hiding pregnancy?

Weddings are meant to be celebrated

My mother said she would bear the cost of the feeding, the hall, the entertainment, the musician, the photographer, the videographer, and so on

All we had to do was show up, dance, and leave when we were done

I sent this man a text, I sent him a voice note on WhatsApp, and I explained with a lot of apologies.

I told him it was not what I wanted, but it was to honour my mother's wish

His reply was, "If your father cannot control your mother, that is his problem. If I cannot control my own wife, that is my problem."

Sir, who talks about his in-laws that way?

Are in-laws not meant to be revered and respected?

I still stomach it and told him I would make sure we spend less than two hours in this hall

He didn't reply to my messages

I got there yesterday by 8 am for the engagement party

He and his family arrived at 8:45

If he had come early, we would have finished before the crowd showed up

The church service was at 10 AM, and the crowd came mainly for that and the reception

When they arrived, they all stayed in the bus for almost thirty minutes

I didn't even know they had arrived

i guess they were just looking at the hall and the crowd trooping in and all

Anyway, at 9:15, he came down from the bus

He was sitting in the passenger's seat at the front

I was standing in front of the hall, calling his phone and the phones of his other relatives, wondering why they were late

Then he walked up to me and said He is sorry

He is no longer interested in the marriage

I didn't even hear him very well

He turned around and started walking towards the bus, so I ran after him and called his name

I asked him if his parents were around because we needed to start

He looked at me, smiled, and said, "Go and look for another man to marry; this cannot work."

Then he jumped into the bus, and they drove off.

Brother Gbenga, will I be the first woman in history who agreed to so a small wedding and the thing blew out of her control?

Should he not be patient and kind and reasonable?

He should be the one running around and appealing to my people and his people for the mess up

I have been the one doing that

He kept saying, "It is over.”

Why? How?

Over what?

If we are not doing the wedding anymore, it is okay

We can just go thr registry and sign the necessary documents

Unless there is something else in his heart that he is not disclosing

I am the injured one here, and he should be the one apologising

He: Sir, I have heard her, and I am very sorry that she is hurt, but we cannot be happy together

It is not the first time that we have agreed on something, and her mother would overrule us and impose her idea on the two of us

Her father allows it because he is comfortable with it

It makes me uncomfortable, and I am never myself when this happens

How can I not be comfortable in my own skin?

She needs to find a man who will be like her father

A man who will be comfortable with being overruled and dictated to all day long

We have had several discussions to this end, and I realised that if I got married to her yesterday, we would both end up walking into an eternal error.

So I am sorry, but I am not interested in the relationship or marriage anymore

Thank you, sir.

She: Brother Gbenga, he has dropped the call...

Me: Yes, he has. I will call him back and try to reason with him. Please put your mind at rest. It will all be sorted. Let me get off this call so that I can call him. Is that okay?

She: Okay, sir. (drops call)

PS: I remember a lady who refused to go to her own wedding on the wedding day.

She had been seeing so many signs that she would be miserable if she married the man

She also didn't love him and had no other man in her life

She had confided in her mother

Her mother said it was jitters and anxiety

She told her father

Her father told her to call it off anytime she wants

The man intensified his efforts because he really liked her

He won her mother to his side and really spent a lot of money

On the wedding day, she refused to leave her room

Her mother called me and asked me to pray

She said it is the arrow of the enemy

I calmly told her it is not the enemy

Her daughter did what many married folks wished they had the courage to do on their wedding day, but didn't do because they were afraid or too embarrassed to be true to themselves.

If on your wedding day, you don't feel joy and excitement deep within your heart as the husband or the wife, please, don't go ahead with the wedding.

There is no point starting your marriage with a fight or resentment in your heart over your own wedding