Sex In Today's World

I know the world has really changed in recent years and sex has become so democratised that almost anybody can have it at anytime, anywhere and often just for the reason of meeting needs.

You hear ladies say, "I am a sexual being, and I have sexual needs," and you hear men say, "I need to have sex, so I did."

Like the fast food evolution, sex has evolved into different categories.

We now have a roll in the hay, which is boy meets girl, one propositions the other, and sex happens within minutes.

No connection whatsoever before the exchange of bodily fluids. In some cases, no words exchanged. Both remain strangers after the sex and no names shared.

We have the famous one night stands, which is boy meets girl. Some words are exchanged, sometimes over a drink at a bar or a restaurant. A proposition is made and both end up in each other's bed either at a hotel or in the house of either.

There is no connection of any kind, no discussions, no intimacy, no joining of minds and visions, just sex.

When they are done, they both become strangers.

We have the Sex Buddies. There is a level of friendship in this. The boy and the girl know each other other and sleep with each other but both do not see a future with each other.

The sex thing was to meet each other's needs for the moment. It is not deep, and there is no emotional involvement or connection whatsoever.

We have friends with a benefit arrangement in which two friends engage in sexual activities as a side attraction to their friendship. They share plans, goals, and a level of intimacy and sometimes exclusivity, but they do not have a future together nor desire to.

Sometimes this arrangement involves the exchange of financial incentives from one partner to the other.

We have the relationship sex, which is the sexual intimacy shared between a male and a female who are in a committed relationship which is deep, intimate, real and is heading in the direction of a marriage. This involves a level of bonding, exclusivity, strong emotional attachment, a sense of ownership, accountability and loyalty.

Then we have the marriage sex. This is the legitimate sexual intimacy between a husband and a wife who are bound by a shared purpose and future. The sexual intimacy in this arrangement is for the purpose of leisure and reproduction as desired by the couple.

The power of legality, love, ownership, loyalty, strong attachment, mutual benefit, and loyalty towers above all in this relationship.

Of course, we know other forms which might involve extra-marital, post-marital, outright sex for money arrangements like hook-ups or prostitution, lust, and so on.

In all this, it is frightful to note that when it comes to the relationship between a man and a woman, neither can truly know each other in truth without sexual interaction.

Sex determines the difference between a platonic relationship and an intimate relationship.

Before sex, both a man and a woman would often act in a certain way towards each other, but this always changes after they have sex together.

The lady feels a sense of ownership, entitlement and a level of possessiveness which she didn't feel towards the man after they have had sex and the man feels the same way towards her.

Before they have sex, they were just friends but after they have had sex they become more than that automatically.

The change, however, is not always positive. The worst character in some people comes to the fore after sexual intimacy with the other person. Jealousy, insecurity, controlling attributes, and disrespect sometimes become evident at this time.

For some, sex opens the door to softness, love, and excitement. For others, sex opens the door to fear of being dumped or taken advantage of, especially if they were hoping it would lead to a relationship, while the other person might just want sex for the sake of meeting a present need and nothing else.

This is the murky waters many are wading through as they sought to build a nest with a life partner in this jet age.

The religious position for the Christian, both male and female is to save yourself from all the issues that come with unbridled passion by waiting until you are married before engaging in any form of sexual interraction.

This is an idealistic position, and it is often not a practical reality.

However, wisdom insists that we have a joining of the mind and purpose before a joining of the body. This helps to mitigate the risks that come with unregulated sexual interaction and also helps to set the tone for a practical and sensible life.

-GSW-